Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder….

Eventhough raya is
like 3 weeks ago, but I’ve got to post it here cause wanna share with you guys
one of my best raya year…Normally, every year would be those typical visiting
cousins, aunties, uncles, bla bla bla…and vise verca… thank god i’ve got a
lot of sisters so i can skip those "bancuh air" and "susun
kuih" thingy everytime people come and visit, hehe…talk about
laziness…

But this year is totally different!…Just before raya, found out some of my
volleyball friends’ hometown is somewhat near mine! A couple of them even
visited (and kinda rescued) me on the very first day of raya!…went to one my
other friend’s house and the food was superb!

However, on the 3rd day of raya was even a better case! One of my vb friend
came all the way from ipoh, picked me up and my other 2 friends (the ones that
rescued me on the 1st day of raya) and head off to "lost world of
tambun"… the place is not really as happening as it’s name but with the
perfect crowd, you can never know…and I had the greatest time…

This i save the last for the best (or issit the other way round?…whatever)..
my sis bought me the whole set of SKII..yeay!! What an awesome sister I
have…and I have been wanting to buy those ages ago but they are so, so
expensive! Eventhough she took all the free gifts, but I still have the
essence…hehe

It’s the fasting month again…I’ve been doing really well this time around…going to the mosque for terawikh prayers almost every night now….thanks to this thing that happened earlier this week…really wanted to write it down here but I think maybe it’s too personal and really inappropriate, as some people say “tak perlu and tak sesuai”..haha…makes you wonder more what’s it all about right…anyhow, people say certain things happen for a reason and I guess to stay strong, I have to stick to that quote as well…kinda crappy and shitty…

So, I was planning to join guitar classes again, cause my skill is getting rusty…but with my financial condition right now (paying for my house and rent  at the same time and not able to find a new housemate) I don’t think I can afford another unnecessary expenses…hmmm…ooo talking about housemate, this morning I was so shocked to see that my car was scratched all the way from the back door to the front… I have a strong feeling that it is my housemate’s doing…hehe… cause I think she’s evil…

Hmmm…what else? Yes..i’ve bought my baju raya already and it’s pink! Can you believe it… thanks to the sales lady cause she was very convincing…when I was trying it out, she said I look very sweet…hehe..,and last Wednesday I bought a new pair of shoes that I’ve wanted to buy for so long! It’s on sale! 30% off!… and it’s hush puppies, my favorite shoe brand! Next would be a brand new digital camera, cause then I can take lots of pictures and paste some in here!

It’s been awhile now that I haven’t been writing anything here…well it’s not that I’m busy or anything…it’s just that I have nothing to write…that shows how boring my life is…unlike some people…i just read one of my friend’s blog and i kinda envy her…she’s having a wonderful life..i think this year is her year..passing exams…joining salsa class…had a great celebration on her b’day…

Me? I thought this year is gonna be my year since I had the lousiest year last year..but turns out, it is still the same..though i did manage to get a job in Bank Negara and so far so good…great colleagues, got my own new laptop, not so bad boss, etc but other than that life has been quite mundane…

Oh yesss, since i have had it with everlasting looking for housemate, bought a house recently…but it’s not gonna be ready until early 2008…so, from now until then, i still have to put up with what i have now…been playing a lot of volleyball lately, since I’m now BNM player, but with my leg injury, I can’t improve much…still a lousy player as before…I guess me and the bench have become good friends now…

What else…aaahhhh, the never ending lust on guys that I cannot have…it’s either he is someone else’s boyfriend, husband or he’s gay..yup yup…that’s my life.. although it seems like I have everything on someone else’s eyes but deep inside, there’s a whole range of emptiness that I think I can never fulfill…I thought by smoking more, it’ll all go away…but it’s still there when I wake up the next morning….sigh…

This should be in quite some time ago..better late than never, right?

Yeah, I’m back in kl..after 3 weeks, I still haven’t received my last paycheck from Prudential Singapore and I’m running out of money..Running out of time to find a new housemate…Running out of luck in finding a new job….although it’s the best time to watch world cup, I don’t think it’s a good thing for my sleeping order…I’m like a vampire or something…my eyes are gathering dark circles…it’s really unhealthy…

Talk about world cup, I wondered how many people out there celebrating their winning bets! I’m hoping some other team will win this time, it’s getting really boring when the same team wins over and over again…anyways, gonna watch superman return premiere today…yeah, another advantage of being jobless and having a good friend who works with the media…hehe…two things I have to start doing though…jogging and studying…talk about physical and mental…crap!

Yup, today is my last day at Prudential Singapore, the end of my 3 months contract term…sigh..eventhough I missed KL so much, I have to admit that it is just a blessing for me to be able to work here in Singapore and Prudential some more…no. 1 insurance company! What can I say, they only hire the best, even for the contract staff..hehe..I really had a great time here..made new friends..explored almost the entire country…it’s like a second home!

so the next question is where am I going? seriously, I don’t know…I’ll be jobless again, I guess.. and penniless..just got to know from HR that I won’t be getting my last pay check anytime soon…have to wait for the Inland Revenue people to confirm how much they need to deduct tax from my salary..damn it! I was thinking of doing some last minute shopping tomorrow, before I leave..

To tell you the truth, this is the first time in my life that I don’t know where I’m heading…I should be scared but I’m not..cause I sort of give up already…like whatever happens, happens…I prolly need to get my ass up, maybe do some part time jobs…it’s like "kais pagi, makan pagi, kais petang, makan petang"…plus, I need to find a new housemate, yeah, again…If only I have my own house..I’m getting tired of this household problems! like nobody cleaning the kitchen, they just know how to make it dirty…nobody bothered to take care of the bills and yet they are using the water and electricity…same goes with bathroom/toilets, living room, etc….are there no decent civilised people in this world anymore?!!

There you go..my frustrations…and that’s what u called life…Oh prince charming, prince charming, where art thou, prince charming…

Is it real? Last night after watching not-so-good, self-disappointment peformance from katharine mcphee and chris daughtry (american idol), somehow I accidentally switched into this channel where it was showing a documentary or some sort of a forum on whether the Da Vinci book is telling facts or fiction?

Well obviously, it is fiction! However, according to the documentary, a lot of people out there somehow after reading the book found themselves believing in it…I guess Dan Brown IS a good writer until I myself wondered "wow, this sounded so true and logical!" especially the part where Mona Lisa is actually Leonardo Da Vinci himself potraying as a lady (drag, haha), nevertheless, my amusement declined after last night when I found out that he actually copy cat the idea from another  book published earlier titled "Holy Blood, Holy Grail"…

Anyways, based on the documentary last night, it’s all just fiction although undoubtedly, Leonardo’s paintings represent a lot of doubtfulness and intrigues…also the part where this secret society, "Priory of Sion" exists (where the grand masters include Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo and Leonardo) is not true..apparently it was created by this looking-for-fame-and-fortune guy who claimed he is the descendant of Jesus himself….talk about day dreaming…so happy watching the movie!! cause I know I will!

Dun feel like doing anything today… another 2 hours to go before I could head home…had a fun weekend with Sudin yesterday…what else can you do with Sudin except for eat, eat, eat….I’m not feeling that well also, been going to the ladies a few times already…must be due to the amount of food intake yesterday…also, I think i’m having my PMS soon…have to pity my colleague sitting next to me…I’ve been ignoring him all day…haha

Sigh…dunno why I feel so down today…maybe because of the whether…cause it’s damn hot outside…what else can I blame on?? Been reading Da Vinci code…have to finish it before the movie comes out…at first I find the story line quite intriguing but after 3/4 of the book, I think it’s another of that "eyes wide shut" movie…dunno what’s all the commotion about…

Still haven’t found a job…well, haven’t applied to any, what do you expect??? Arghhh…dun wanna think about it! Guess still hoping for BNM to get back to me.. Better stop writing now, cause I think I need to pay another visit to the ladies…

Yeah, went back to KL, AGAIN! This time is because my sister from Perak coming down to KL..and I haven’t been seeing my nieces for quite some time, so kinda missed them..anyways, it was a tiring trip, I hate cheap buses!! First of all, they are always late! and then, they always stopped at lousy rest area with lousy food! I was so hungry when I reached KL, didn’t even bother how much the taxi charged me, cause I was so in a hurry to reach my sister’s house so that I could have my decent meal…and yeah, it was a decent meal indeed…had a headache after that…sigh…

We went out for dinner and watched a movie the next morning until when it’s aquaria’s time, I ditched them and head off to KLIA to fetch Mazri, forced Din and Azhar to come along…like a small unplanned trip since I didn’t get to go to Sungai Gabai…I was so disappointed actually cause I’m starting to drift apart from the club activities and members as expected (I guess that phrase "out of sight out mind" is always applied)….well you have to choose your battle..can’t win them all..

Either way, I’m glad that I got to spend quality time with my family…although got interrupted when I had emergency call from Arie when him and Mazri got stucked in between doors, haha…sorry can’t help much there… reached singapore around 1 am since it was very jam all the way to south..damn…and the most frustrating part was my friend’s parents are still around when I reached home, sigh…I was kinda rude a bit when they asked me questions and babbling away and I did say a word…really can’t take it, especially when I was really tired and all I can think of is sleep!

I just realised that most of my blogs are about unhappiness and sad stories. Well, what can I say, this IS MY LIFE, sigh Anyways, I’m glad that people around me are doing well, you know, my friends, ex-colleagues and my family… Was in a shock when I found out about my friend from Vietnam joining Great Eastern soon! He’s such a great guy, I’m happy that he’s gonna be back in KL (there goes my free accommodation if I go to Vietnam, hehe)

Work is as per normal, had a long chat with my boss yesterday when he was sending me back after a long tiring frisbee session…damn I really felt like a dog..running here and there trying to catch that freaking frisbee. We managed to come up with a strategy! Since I’m lousy at throwing but fabulous at catching, so everytime it’s our turn, I just ran as fast as I can to the scoring goal post and get ready to catch the frisbee…and since my boss is such a precise strong thrower (is there such a word?!), most of the time, I did the touch down!! What an ass kisser, haha…

Anyways, heard about Urban Spikerz not being able to book the court for our internal league…damn it!! I was so excited about it until I managed to find 6 orange colour nike t-shirts with the price of just RM39 each! I went all over singapore to look for it, and it is very frustrating that we have to go all over again about the date arrangement, ARRRGGHHH!! Almost all the people involved have confirmed their participation and now we have to go through it again! Talk about bad management! Now I’m pushing for my sister who works in Telekom to check whether they have indoor courts available for this event. Hope everything will work fine after this, cause no matter what I WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN! wah, like real, hehe

I really envy those people know knows what they want in life, some people even have a 5 or 10 year plan…I can’t even tell what I’m gonna do after May this year…yeah, I kinda got a hint from my boss that they are gonna offer me a permanent job here, i wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but I did, knowing me, always have something to bitch around…most of them told me to take it, used almost the same line…"u’re still young, this is your time, u’ll earn a lot of money, bla bla bla"… if only money is not an issue.. but my heart is in Malaysia…I can’t do it, seriously, this time I’m gonna go with my heart, and not think too much…no matter how stupid they think I am…this might be a golden opportunity for some people but not me, I can always make money somewhere else…

If only BNM accepted my application before, then I wouldn’t need to go through all this trouble…sigh…

Anyways, I’m meeting a friend of mine this coming thursday for a job opportunity in PSA (prudential services asia)…worse case scenario, I might as well accept it…don’t think i can afford to be jobless again…i’m like everywhere man unlike one of my friend, he’s in a best period of his life now, love his job, love his life and recently he’s happily coupled with this GREAT guy (which is also one my friends)…i’m almost 30 and i really don’t expect my life to still be in a mess…why can’t I just have a simple life?! I should be a full housewife by now with 3 kids at least, happily married to a simple guy with enough money to support me and my kids…

I soooo don’t feel like living right now…